Readers, by now I have given you ample proof how today’s physics establishment is a place where scammers and fraudsters vouch for one another. They do so by using their elaborate establishment apparatus and by abusing their long-traditioned umbrella of nobility and trustworthiness. Outsiders who try to expose this are given this pat response: “You do not understand.”
Do you really need to understand a Rube Goldberg Machine to grasp its worth? Would you buy a Volvo Model EW because they tell you the software is based on a set of equations developed by a Princeton professor? Do you really need to understand all what goes into the Credit Default Swaps (CDS) to know what these did to your life? Physics scams are no different – they just do it at a much higher level. They’re rippin’ ya off man!
Your understanding is not an issue at all here – they are just trying to shift the focus on you and away from them. The issue is their conduct.
What is this conduct? They take your money promising you a rosy outcome when they know for sure what the outcome will be. If they had solicited money by writing a personal letter addressed directly to you instead of writing a proposal letter addressed to Uncle Sam, this would be called
419 Advance Fee Fraud (AFF)
Scientific and technological reasearch is indeed about overcoming obstacles. There are some obstacles which one may judge reasonably to be surmountable. There are other obstacles that are seemingly insurmountable, but one may tackle them nevertheless with some daring. And then there are obstacles that are insurmountable, period. Those who tackle this last category are doing so for one reason only: To scam.
So, here I present some of the most illustrious scams of the physics establishment. Enjoy this as you would enjoy, for example, the Great Cases of Scotland Yard.
The great physics scams that outscam the Nigerian scammers
[Click here to enlarge]
Time Machine: Believe it or not, they are getting funding to work on things which they say have implications for an actual Time Machine.
Hot Plasma Fusion: If you are not past the retirement age, then the physicists have been at it since before you were born.
COBE Satellite (Big Bang Cosmology): It showed the face of God and brought intimations of immortality. This here fraud dwarfs anything in history.
Teleportation: They say their work will someday lead to the “Beam me up Scotty” machine.
Invisible Man: They claim they will make entire battle tanks invisible. The picture you see above with half the tank invisible refers to a smoke-and-mirror experiment that had nothing to do with the actual invention. Nevertheless, based on such sham demonstrations the British military is pouring money into it faster than you can say: Blimey!
Why are these scams? Because those who understand what is going on – the perpetrators most of all – know with 100% certainty that these things are not going to happen. They are not going to make the smallest bacterium go back one femtosecond in time; they are not going to power a one-horse town with fusion energy; they are not going to teleport one speck of dust; and they are not going to make invisible in the battlefield one hubcap, let alone a charging Centurion battle tank. The COBE scam of course already stands exposed.
The formula is a clever one: Find the most esoteric project you can think of (usually a classic science fiction) that will capture the imagination of the unsuspecting public. Then do a small experiment that you can tie into that idea. Then ask for a multi-year multi-million dollar grant. Not to worry – your colleagues will endorse your proposal. And presto! You are in business.
It gets funnier! The scammer-in-chief for the Invisible Man caper is one Professor Sir John Pendry FRS (Isn’t that a mouthful!) of the Imperial College in London. Now, this college puts up a website on Pendry that says he has captured the imagination of the media! Lordy Lordy! I suppose if you want to gain maximum advantage, then why bother capturing the imagination of the doggone public? It would be much more efficient to fire up the media.
In fact, so effective is Sir John’s promotion campaign that every year the bookmakers peg him for the Nobel Prize for Physics.
And that’s the way to do high physics, folks! Tie in to the media, the bookmakers …
Professor Sir John Pendry, FRS
He fires the imagination of the media; the bookmakers fuel his Nobel hopes…