There is a story about hanky panky in august quarters. Two employees of the royal household were spotted in the middle of the night having congress behind the royal stables. The matter was reported to the Queen. Her Majesty said: “We do not care what they do, as long as they do not scare the horses.”

Three posts ago I described how Yale University is proceeding to fete John Mather in a very big and high profile way, more than two years after his fraud was laid bare.

Yale logo:
“Urim V’Tumim”, “Lux et veritas”: Light and Truth!
You can get away with a lot of hanky panky under a noble banner with Hebrew and Latin wisdom.

Yale is the first first-tier university to applaud Mather in quite some time. This says to me that Yale engineers and physicists have made a determination that NASA’s cockeyed COBE Satellite ended up making a consistent and fantastically high precision measurement through some fluke chance. Madre de Dios, muy milagrosa!

[This instrument malfunction was reported to the scientific community, but not to the public. Ironically, had it been done the other way, science might have been better served.]

Here is how the Aggie … er… Eli … logic goes: a faulty satellite whose vision was distorted by some 30% somehow made observations with a precision of 50 parts per million over a decade bandwidth!

The odds of this happening are probably worse than a man born blind and without eyeballs receiving 20/20 vision and perfect color perception within 5 minutes of praying at the ungiving wishing well, but hey, it is Yale physicists we are talking about!

[Doesn’t this also say that if the satellite were working perfectly the way it was intended to, then it would not have given this same picture-perfect result that was the discovery?! How do you work out this conundrum: The experiment would not have worked at all, but it worked only because the satellite went bonkers?]

Actually, you ain’t heard nothing yet! It gets far more hilarious. It seems that Mather pushed technology to its limit to make his instrument achieve a certain accuracy of measurement. But when placed in orbit, it provided an accuracy 20 times greater!

I thought that we had to make a very brilliant experiment, or else it would not actually tell us anything. We promised a sensitivity that would find small deviations of only one part in one thousand from perfection: eventually it turned out that the instrument was capable of measuring only one part in twenty thousand, fifty parts per million deviations from perfection.

What happened to provide this 20-fold enhancement in accuracy over and beyond the punishing design goal? The satellite went cockeyed for some unknown reason. It got whacked or something broke or it was never right to begin with. (When I was a poor student I had a TV that needed whacking from time to time – and that sometimes turned out to be “a very brilliant experiment.”)

Man oh man! If every experimenter were this lucky! And to cap it off, here is how Mather is describing himself today to the Elis:

As an instrument builder all my life…

Praise be to God Almighty and Ahuramazda the Magnificent that John Cromwell Mather does not build any medical or avionics instruments. NASA, please please keep him out there doing stuff in in outer space, by all means.

What conclusion did the Eli scientists and engineers reach about the COBE Satellite experiment? A little birdie gave me a scoop. Apparently, the malfunction is not Mather’s fault. The onboard camera of the satellite spotted a gremlin tearing off the rivets and peeling off the satellite skin.

Enough comedy! It is actually a very dark matter – the most gigantic fraud in history. And also the first fraud in the “final frontier,” and as far as I know, the first fraud that Nobeled.

The following Yale officials responsible for the subject matter were informed on this fraud through email, and are proceeding with the gala event:

The witting promoters of science fraud:
Yale President Richard Levin, and C. Megan Urry, Chairman of the Physics Department

Also, I have issued a challenge to the entire Yale Physics Faculty to state on record that John Mather did not commit fraud. If they have made this determination, there should be no problem in saying it, right? And why shouldn’t they say it at least to exonerate their President? And why wouldn’t the Yale insist that they do?

And while at it, why not send that message also to the new NASA Administrator, Maj. Gen. Charles F. Bolden? If he has a strong Yale recommendation that Mather’s discovery is perfectly legit, it would help him – in case he wished to address the matter.

If it is beneath the dignity of Yale physicists to communicate with a lowlife like me, they can have their department secretary send me a note – I would be honored to hear from that lady. Or even the building custodian or the groundskeeper for that matter.

Indeed, if a smelly indigent approaches you and says: “Brother, tell me that God is Great,” why wouldn’t you say it? Unless of course you are a non-believer.

Here you can view the elite Yale physics faculty – La Crème de la crème – who are corrupting the World.

They are scaring the horses.



[Yale photo by Brenna Neghaiwi]
John Mather giving the prestigious Leigh Page Prize Lectures at Yale.
Seated is Professor C. Megan Urry, Mather host and friend who praised him for his “selfless” service.
Hocine tibi habeas iocum?


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