THE COCKEYED COBE SATELLITE

A PUBLIC EDUCATION POST:
Understand the fraud that was perpetrated upon you by the Big Bang Cosmologists and NASA, and anointed by the Nobel Foundation.
Readers around the World, they have shaved you without lather!

If Cobe were a missile guidance system, the NATO missile would end up hitting Bora Bora instead of Tora Bora for sure.

If Cobe were a medical imaging device, you would have a pancreas full of tumors.

If Cobe were a camera, your pretty sister would look like the Hulk.

As it happens, COBE was a NASA Satellite. What it saw in the outer space was anointed as The Genesis itself.

The following is a simplified allegory to illustrate to the general (non-scientific) public what the nature of the COBE Satellite fraud was.

THE HAZE

The Kingdom of Bombagor is rife with rumors of an alien invasion. The spectacular Valley of the Moon has been settled by a greenish-purplish haze that does not appear to be like anything of this Earth. Scientists have had many stabs at it, but failed to explain the particular color of the glow. The problem is, any instrument that is taken there to study the haze starts to malfunction. No credible scientific data can be acquired.


[Image source: http://www.digitalsky.org.uk]
The Haze

Naturally, the problem is then referred to the highest authority in Alien Science, Dr. Jonas Motherwell of the Royal Bombagorese Space Authority. An instrument builder all his life, Motherwell quickly gets to the heart of the problem. He puts his instrument package inside a specially shielded enclosure, having a rock crystal window to admit light. “This ought to do the job,” says Motherwell.

His colleagues ask: “How can we be sure though, Jon?”

Motherwell replies: “What we will do is this. We will do that which has never been done before, to discover that which has never been discovered before. We will position this shielded instrument package looking at the Haze. But an identical instrument package without the shield will be installed some distance away – free from any influence of the Haze. Then, at exactly the same instant of time, we will have the two stations look up at the sky and take pictures of the Moon. These two pictures should be identical in every respect. That will be the absolute guarantee that the shielded instrument is functioning properly. Therefore, any picture it takes of the Haze is perfectly faithful, scientifically speaking.”

To make a long story short, Motherwell’s pictures of the Haze were most astounding, and led to the greatest discovery in the history of man. From within the Haze, there emerged the outline of the face of God, and the emanations from the Haze were interprted to contain intimations of immortality. He became a celebrated hero of unprecedented magnitude – and regarded as a greater explorer than Magellan, Columbus, Galileo, Newton and Einstein.

Motherwell’s book The Very First Haze describing this experience became a bestseller in Bombagor. He became so busy on the lecture circuit that he could not travel to all the venues all the time. So he used the RBSA videoconference facility to speak to the far corners of the World.

One day, fifteen years on, the airwaves are burning up with the much-expected news: Motherwell has been awarded the Magnificent Prize. A full day of festivities follows. In the evening, a very tired Magnificent Laureate sits contentedly in his office, chatting with a colleague.

At one point, the colleague asks: “By the way Jon, what happened to the twin Moon pictures?”

“They were Ok,” replies Motherwell.

“Can I see ’em?”

“Well, I don’t think we have them anymore. When we moved offices in connection with my appointment as the RBSA HQ Chief Scientist, they got lost.”

The colleague becomes curious. He tracks down the RBSA technician that worked with Motherwell immediately following the Haze experiment. The colleague takes him to the local Appleby’s Bar and invests several rounds of draft beer.

The technician finally loosens up and remembers: “The two pictures of the Moon looked completely different. But Jon said they were identical, scientifically speaking. He told me not to worry about it. So I did not think further about this. What do I, a lowly technician, know?!”

“OK, but what did the two pictures look like?”

“Hey man, I don’t want to get into any trouble. So this is just between you and me.”

“Sure.”

“One was a regular Moon shot. The other looked like an Anchovy-and-Jalapeno-Pepper Pizza from Papa John’s.”

Advertisements

Tags: , , , ,


%d bloggers like this: